Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I've been doing a lot of reflection lately. I couldn't tell you why, maybe I'm bored, maybe I over analyze this, or my I just like the sound of my own voice in my head as I type this. Well, I'm pretty sure by now it's none of those, and all of them.

I'm back with my girlfriend. Probably the roughest and most emotionally draining relationship I've had. I guess as we get older things aren't supposed to get easier. We both had reasons for wanting it to end, and for it to keep going. After a much needed break to get myself together it's never been easier. How it's supposed to be. I've always been one to love others unconditionally, either it be friends or significant others. It's sad to say, but once you've got my trust, I'm about as loyal as a dog. We're going to Mexico in September. <3.

My new roommate is cool. He coughs a lot, but I guess we all have our things. Better than living with someone who plays the drums, whacks off really loudly, or shits in the shower. I realize those are dramatic and equally as graphic images, but you get my point. It's all relative.

I've spent most my time evaluating my friendships, and trying my best to understand how the world actually works. It's been a confusing ride, and now that the dust has settled from many, many ties I've been forced to cut I feel bad, and disheartened. The only way I can describe this feeling is that now looking back I see I was SO FAR behind on "getting it", or I guess you could say behind my time. I was so far back, it seems I'm now pretty far ahead of my time, as well as everyone else's. I've grown up more in this past year, than my entire life. Yeah, that's quite a feat, especially if you hang out with me on a daily basis. I feel stronger, and it took a lot to get here. This past week I've been reduced to tears in my car while driving to lunch or home, and I have no idea why. I guess it's everything I kept inside for so long coming out in a weird way. I'd rather be doing this than going postal like Ed Norton in 'Fight Club'. The biggest bummer is that the ties that have been cut, didn't phase me at the time, but now they've impacted me in a huge way, and I'm seeing my flaws come to the surface. That's all I feel like sharing for now. Until next time...

And I'm An Idiot...

Got today switched up with the 13th. You'll probably never read this, but you know who you are, and I just realized why you were the way you were a few years ago. I'm sorry.

Carry on.